How to Talk to People with Hearing Loss

I was recently contacted by Julia Florentine who has just published a book with her mum and her colleague. The book is for friends and family of people with hearing loss on how to communicate effectively and is entitled “How to Talk to People with Hearing Loss“.

The purpose of the book is to explain what people with hearing loss find useful from their communication partners so that the reader can learn to be a better communicator. It aims at helping people to understand the communication difficulties people with hearing loss (in particular, age-related) may have, so that they are equipped with the tools to speak more effectively with someone without full hearing.

Although my hearing loss isn’t age-related, I can still identify with the information in this book and think the tips would be relevant to communicating with someone with any form of hearing loss.

Among other things the book outlines ‘Two Major Myths About Hearing Loss’, ‘Five Most Common Questions Answered’ and ‘Ten Tips for Effective Communication’.

The section I found most relevant to my needs was ‘Ten Tips for Effective Communication’.

I’m sure with different types of hearing loss, the weight of importance will be concentrated on different areas, yet all points carry significance. The main tips that I would like people to know are 6, 7, 8 and 10:

6. If I do not hear you the first time, repeat with different words. Don’t say the same word I did not hear over and over again.

7. Try to limit or avoid background noise. I do not hear well in noisy environments.

8. Talk to me on the side of my better ear.

10. Hearing under adverse conditions can be exhausting. Sometimes, I need a break.

The book doesn’t just provide the tips, it also examines them; suggesting and explaining helpful actions.

I’ve been thinking about the information highlighted in number 10 regarding listening fatigue and realised that this is something I haven’t really talked about to anybody, apart from those who are close to me. I think the reason for this is because there are many other points that I feel others need to know. In particular, I inform people of my hearing side and the fact that I may need to sit close to them to hear them and to watch their lips for clues. I try to make sure I tell these two pieces of information to anyone who I will be having a prolonged or regular communication with. These details are conveyed for practical reasons. The fact that I am tired, doesn’t seem essential to explain.  It seems more like a personal detail.

Yet, the effort involved in listening can be very demanding. Even just meeting with a friend for a coffee can leave me feeling exhausted, and I often have to go home afterwards to lie down and rest my ears and brain. A great amount of concentration is needed to hear the main aspects of a conversation, to process this information, whilst trying to focus on keywords over background noise. It can be tiring attempting to keep up with the change in context, at the same time as endeavouring to hear questions; striving to give appropriate answers. During any conversation, I continually urge my tinnitus not to steal my attention, I deal with sound sensitivity issues, and all the while trying to look at ease with the situation. And so, it is not surprising that trying to follow a conversation, let alone joining in with it, can be quite a mission for someone with hearing loss.

I am aware that people with hearing aids may turn them off when they get home after work or being in a noisy environment, and this allows them to rest their ears and takes away the pressure of trying to listen or respond to conversation. I am quite envious of this. It must be a relief to be able to tune out after being around noise all day. Similarly, I often wear an earplug in my hearing ear when carrying out noisy tasks, such as washing dishes – this gives my ears a rest from noise.

I found it interesting that the point about listening fatigue had been included in the book, as it is not really a tip, but rather an insight into life for someone with hearing loss. It is a point that I would like others to know about me, but one which I rarely voice. I would like people to know that it is an effort to converse. Unlike some issues related to hearing loss, everyone can relate to feeling tired. Perhaps this understanding and awareness could promote empathy.

If you would like more information about the book, it can be found on Amazon, through the following links:

UK: http://bit.ly/hearinglossbook

US: https://amzn.to/2HzgBXd

Spain: https://amzn.to/2w6Yp1W

I hope Julia’s book will help enable more effective communication between those with hearing loss and their communication partners.

Seeking alternative help – Trying to solve the mystery: Part 2

…Just under 7 weeks after losing my hearing, I went to consult with a chiropractor. I had never been to a chiropractor before, and wanted to know his opinion about my situation. My boyfriend and I arrived for my initial consultation, and we were greeted with a handshake from a very professional-looking English guy. We immediately felt at ease. He had a calm and patient manner, and listened to my story; asking relevant questions throughout. He was so refreshing to talk to and filled us with hope and optimism. None of the hospital specialists had shown any support of my theory that an issue with my neck or jaw could have contributed to my sudden hearing loss.

The chiropractor showed us a poster similar to the one below:

Note that the vertebrae C1 – C4 all have connections to the ear and hence to hearing. The chiropractor told us that it was completely plausible that a problem with my neck could be affecting my hearing; perhaps due to a restriction of blood flow or a problem affecting the auditory nerve. He obviously was interested in my case, and also showed great optimism, and pride in his work. He didn’t give us false hope. He said he could definitely help me. He felt my whole neck was ‘blocked’, and said he could help with this, and this could possibly in turn help me regain some hearing.

I continued to see the chiropractor. Each time he made similar adjustments to my neck and back. He helped me understand so much about the connections in the body, the nervous system, and how to maintain good spinal health. During one visit, he also told me a little about the history of chiropractic, something that I later looked up at home:

The history of chiropractic began in 1895 when Daniel David Palmer of Iowa performed the first chiropractic adjustment on a partially deaf janitor, Harvey Lillard. While Lillard was working without his shirt on in Palmers office, Lillard bent over to empty the trash can. Palmer noticed that Lillard had a vertebra out of position. He asked Lillard what happened, and Lillard replied, “I moved the wrong way, and I heard a ‘pop’ in my back, and that’s when I lost my hearing.” Palmer, who was also involved in many other natural healing philosophies, had Lillard lie face down on the floor and proceeded with the adjustment. The next day, Lillard told Palmer, “I can hear that rackets on the streets.” This experience led Palmer to open a school of chiropractic two years later. (Wikepedia)

So there is a direct link between chiropractic adjustments and the restoration of hearing, after hearing loss has been experienced!

I continue to see my chiropractor every few weeks now, and my neck is feeling much better. Although there has been no miracle cure, I am happy to know that I have taken the time to sort out a problem that I have lived with for so long, and will continue to practise good spinal health. I also continue to refuse to lose all hope in one day possibly experiencing some improvement in my condition. I’m not saying that I believe I will have a complete recovery, more that our bodies take time to heal and maybe one day things could improve for me or become more comfortable.

I also went to see an osteopath. He was an interesting man, who was obviously passionate about his work, and keen to continue to learn new things about the body. He also specialized in Chinese medicine. He took another different outlook on possible reasons for my hearing loss. It was my first time consulting with an osteopath. He asked me lots of general health questions about my digestion, whether I had bladder infections, and how well I sleep. He placed his hands on different parts of my body and said that there was a blocked channel of blood flow to my head. He also said that there was a problem with the membrane in my deaf ear. He placed little stickers on different parts of my body; some on my feet; white quartz stickers on my jaw next to my ear, which were positioned on acupuncture points; and mustard seeds on pressure points on my ear – relating to the ear, nervous system and jaw. I had to press the mustard seeds firmly throughout the day. During future visits he also explained that he could feel my deaf ear was ‘impacted with pressure’. He did lots of things to help with blood flow to the ear; applying light pressure in different areas. He also talked about how the kidney is directly associated with hearing in Chinese medicine. The osteopath was obviously a very divergent thinker. Nevertheless, the little white stickers that he placed next to my ears did provide some relief from the ear pressure I experience. I also continue to stay in touch with him, and see him every month or so. He finds my case interesting. He explained to me that he can easily fix something like tennis elbow, but my case was something he hadn’t seen before and it intrigued him. He enjoyed the challenge of exploring his manuals for possible methods of help, and then putting these strategies into practise.  He also filled me with hope and said that if the doctors can’t find the answer, then maybe he can, or maybe a physiotherapist, or someone else. He urged me to never stop seeking help.

I continue to feel that whilst the hospital specialists still have no answer as to a reason for my loss of hearing, that it could be related to something skeletal or other ongoing issues with my body. Maybe just one factor or, possibly more likely, a few issues working together to have caused my hearing loss.